Tough Talk : No More Fake Positivity, No More Pity Parties

Let’s start with this: 

"Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, and your actions dictate your destiny."

It’s not exactly the kind of quote you’d slap on a coffee mug next to a watercolor mountain and a golden retriever. But maybe it should be. Because when it comes to triathlon,  and honestly, just about everything else in life,  this idea is brutal, honest, and absolutely true.

Your Mind is the Engine Room

Every single thing you do in this sport starts with what’s happening upstairs. You think “I suck at swimming” often enough, and guess what? You’re probably going to start acting like someone who sucks at swimming. You’ll dread swim workouts. You’ll skip them. You’ll half-ass the ones you do show up for. And that’s not “just being realistic,” that’s building your own reality,  brick by miserable brick.

But here’s where we trip ourselves up. A lot of people think that the antidote to this is to just plaster over the negativity with fake positivity. Like this:

“I am one with the water.” 

“The hills are my friends.” 

“DNF means Did Not Fail.”

Let’s be real. That’s garbage. The hills are not your friends. The hills are here to break you. But you know what? That’s okay.

Because the point isn’t to pretend things are easy. The point is to stop feeding the wolf that wants to see you quit.

Cut the Drama, Keep the Drive

Look, not every race is going to be a victory parade. Not every training day is going to feel like a motivational montage. Sometimes you’ll feel strong and fast and dialed in. Sometimes you’ll feel like a potato with anxiety.

You can acknowledge the hard stuff without moving in and making it your identity. And you should celebrate your wins, even the small ones. Because if you’re not taking time to feel proud when things go well, but you are constantly beating yourself up when they don’t?

That’s not “humble.” That’s just bad math.

What You Focus On, You Fuel

Progress doesn’t care if your alarm didn’t go off. The finish line doesn’t ask how many things went wrong this week. Your body only knows what it’s being told repeatedly, by your actions, by your habits, and yes, by your thoughts.

So no, we’re not here to sugarcoat anything. This is a tough sport. You’re going to suffer. You’re going to fall short. You’re going to second-guess yourself.

But you're also going to rise. You’re going to build confidence. You’re going to learn what you’re made of. And you’re going to make friends with parts of yourself you didn’t know existed, the resilient parts, the gritty parts, the unstoppable parts.

Your thoughts shape your words. Your words shape your actions. And your actions? They shape your damn destiny.

So be careful what you're repeating to yourself. Because if you keep telling yourself this sport is nothing but pain, pressure, and problems… that’s all it will ever be.

But if you can laugh a little, take the hits, get back up, and celebrate the moments where it all clicks?

Then congratulations, you’re already shaping a destiny worth chasing.

Coach’s Challenge: This week, ditch the fake mantras and the self-pity party. Just notice your thoughts. When something sucks, say so, then ask, “What’s the opportunity here?” When something goes well, don’t brush it off, celebrate the win. Loudly. Publicly. Maybe even obnoxiously.

And watch what happens when your mindset stops being a liability and starts being your sharpest tool.

Now go train. Or don't. But remember: you're voting on your destiny either way.

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*Time Trial Tuesday posts are intended to be short primer posts to get you thinking, but they are also challenges for myself to see how quickly and simply I can get the topic across to all of you. I give myself 15 minutes on the clock to write each one. No filter, No editing, Just the thoughts in my head..... Scary.

About Nick Farr

Nick is the owner and Head Coach at P3 Fitness and has been a dedicated triathlete and runner for over 20 years. With a passion for endurance sports, Nick brings a wealth of experience and knowledge to his coaching, specializing in triathlon, running, and cycling. As an accomplished athlete and certified multi-discipline coach, he has guided countless athletes to reach their personal bests and achieve their goals. In his role as a Triathlon coach at P3 Fitness, Nick is committed to helping each individual unlock their full potential through tailored training programs and expert guidance.